Devan

I was doing laundry on a summer morning listening to Dave Ramsey. A few minutes in to the podcast, Dave mentioned that one of the leading causes of divorce is financial stress. He said that if you and your spouse can agree on religion, finances, children, and in-laws then you have a much higher chance of staying married. Merging finances with your spouse can be difficult. Once you are married, two become one. This means income, as well.  Dean and I do not have much, so our conversations are geared towards savings goals and spending habits. I can see how money conversations can be challenging for those who have thousands to their name and a lot of assets, but Dean and I are your every day middle class couple who had to have those money conversations we all like to avoid, so we could build a secure foundation for the future. Merging incomes and sharing finances for the first time can be scary. Here are some tips:

Lay It All Out

We all have our own unique relationship with money. I am a natural spender. In fact, I used to say “what is the point of making money to not spend it.” Cringey. I know. Dean is a natural saver. His budgeting technique is just do not spend it. If you are like me, you find comfort in a perfectly planned budget. When you are merging finances with your partner, it is important to observe and discuss your relationship with money. Look at your transaction history, pay attention to your bank statements, and reflect on where your money goes. If you like to spend and go into a ton of debt, this can be an incredibly hard realization, but it is important to hash it out and move forward. How much debt are you in? (Credit cards, student loans, car loans, etc) How much debt is your partner in? Do you have an emergency fund? How does your partner feel about saving money? What is your household income? What does retirement look like for you? The younger you invest into retirement, the more your money will work for you.

Create A Game Plan

So, you finally had the conversation and you feel overwhelmed. But that is okay! Your next steps are to create a plan for what your next month or two will look like. Budgeting isn’t easy. Budgeting especially isn’t easy when you add another person into the picture. A budget doesn’t have to be perfect either. For example, I set a monthly allowance and pull out cash. Once the cash is gone then I have nothing to spend. This allows me to enjoy the money I earn, but also be disciplined enough to save money and build. Dean and I did not know where to start, but Dave Ramsey spoke to us, so we follow his baby steps. Following his baby steps has completely changed my relationship with money. If you are confused on where to start, we are fortunate enough to live in a time where information is literally at our finger tips. Do your research and take advice.

Merging incomes is messy. Merging different lifestyles is messy. Life in general is messy. But the conversation is worth having. In fact, the conversations are completely necessary. You and your partner should be having these conversations over and over again and will throughout your entire lives. Create a plan to tackle debt, use cash as much as you can, and build a 3-6 month emergency fund, so you and your spouse are prepared for a rainy day because the rainy days will come. Having some kind of financial preparation will certainly make those rainy days less terrible.